Don't hold hate in your heart

(Originally posted on my myspace blog April 26, 2005)

You know what, I just realized that I was holding some sort of hate/anger/dislike - something bad in my heart. And it was keeping me down. Whenever I would talk to Kristina, that stuff was there, and I couldn't have a normal conversation with her.

Ever since I made up my mind and told Kristina that I was ready to meet Kirra's dad and tell him that I forgive him, a burden had been lifted. I had no idea that that would happen. I didn't even realize I was carrying that hate/anger/dislike. I guess I wanted to blame someone in all this mess, and he was an easy target.

I guess my point is that you should not carry stuff like that around. Because whether you realize it or not, if you do carry hate, your only hurting yourself. Your not doing anything to them, it's a bent sword, that's aiming back at you.

One last thought on forgiveness. Forgiving someone does not mean that they are right. You can forgive someone and still think they are wrong. Forgiveness is about you letting go of that hate/anger/dislike towards that person. It's about you and your well being. It's not about them. Kirra's dad will never be in the right for what he did, but I'm ready to forgive him and move on.

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